Secrets & Lies

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  One evening my son Keaton  walked into the dining room where my wife and I were having dinner with  some friends.  His lips pursed, his brow furrowed and his tone serious  when he blurted out, “I wasn’t out on the roof, in case you were  wondering.”  When pressed a little further it turned out that was a lie,  “It was Coopers idea, he went first.”

    Keeping Cooper’s secret and living  the lie were more than this young boy could take.  Damn the  consequences, he just blurted it out.  Obviously, his conscience was  overwhelmed, his mind compromised by the effort required to keep the  secret and perpetuate the lie. He had to unburden himself.   

    It would be easy to shrug this off  as the limited capacity of a 4 year old, but it’s merely a matter of   scale.  As a man, the secrets with which you are trusted are more  important and the lies you tell of greater impact. 

    Make sure the secrets you keep are  worth keeping.  While confessing a transgression may bring you some  embarrassment, it will be short lived and result in stronger character  and will.  Whereas, keeping the secret will last forever, will undermine  your character and deplete your will.

    If you have done something wrong; own up to it, apologize, make amends.  Then it is over.

    If admitting your mistake would  hurt someone, then find a confidential source with which to share it,  preferably a minister who can provide you counsel and context.  A  counselor can perform a similar service but may not be able to provide  absolution, forgiveness or redemption in the context of gods love.

    You can not live a lie, you can  only act like it for so long.  Eventually, the truth will come out and  the impact is usually proportional to how long the lie was lived.